Fear vs Confidence

Fear, comes in the way of everything. Where as, Confidence comes in handy with everything.

Fear puts DOUBTS in your head. Let’s give the example of a job interview, you really want this job. Fear will make you doubt yourself.

“What if I don’t get it?”

The fear of REJECTION. Confidence doesn’t do doubt, nope, Confidence screams:

“I will get this job, if you don’t pick me you are missing out.”

You guessed it Confidence got you that job.

Fear will tell you NOT to leave your corporate job to start your own business because if you do it’s a massive risk; the Fear of FAILURE. Confidence will leave that job behind, learn from it and then work its damn ASS off. Confidence will take RISKS. And EMBRACE those failures and then get up again and again turning them into a SUCCESS.

Fear does come in different forms, we all have them, even those individuals you think are SUPER HUMAN. I’ve learnt to break them down in my head and create a solution for each of my Fears. Sometimes I write it down, because you don’t always want to discuss your deepest Fears with people around you. Of course, I’m only human some Fears you just don’t have a solution for and no-one has the answers for them, that’s where our two other friends- FAITH and HOPE come into play.

I guess what I’m trying to say is if you don’t try for that job you really want, if you don’t start what you really want to do and if you don’t do what, put simply, makes you happy because of our bad friend Fear, you are just going to be left thinking “What if?” Then you are just living in the Fear of the UNKNOWN. I can’t think of anything worse.

Ah. Really hope this doesn’t come across as being a preachy kind of post. Just wanted to share a few things I’ve learnt about these two friends of mine over the years.

I JUST WANTED TO ADD THE BELOW:

I wrote this post a few days ago but today I went to see my surgeon, I ended up telling her my Fears, my Fears that I didn’t have an answer for or that no-one had the answers for. I cried. I saw her eyes well up. She then reassured me that Fear was a REAL THING it’s all about VISUALISATION and hope, I always talk about the art of VISUALISATION (will post something soon on this too). I knew she was right. Sometimes you just have to embrace your Fear, challenge it and then conquer it.

Putting it into practise is difficult but it’s not impossible.

Yours Truly, 

S. Dasani

And here we go with the first quote!

Whoever knows me well, will know the basic fact of how much I LOVE MOVIES, especially ones that make me think or teach me something REAL, I love documentaries and I love American dramas. Recently, we went to see The Equaliser (huge fan of Denzel), the first day it came out (luckily my partner loves all the above too) and I was completely drawn to this opening quote, I had to post it for you all:

“The two most important days of your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why.” – Mark Twain.

Do you know WHY?

The upside to Cancer (Yes, there are some)!

People asked me “what’s changed?” since my diagnosis. To which I reply “everything.”  When I was first diagnosed I walked out of the hospital and saw everything in a different way. The grass, the cars, the life around us… everything was just BEAUTIFUL. The normal life we took for granted. There’s a LOT of good that’s come from my journey and for this reason I stopped questioning “why me?” but rather embraced it and learnt from it.

  • PERSPECTIVE AND APPRECIATION- You forget about all the menial things you get annoyed over and concentrate on the things you LOVE. You begin to appreciate the people around you and the bloomin’ fantastic life you really have. From the birds chirping away outside to literally not having a pain in your ass(PILES).
  • ALL THOSE FREEBIES- As a woman you get a free make up class called “Look good, feel better” and then you get a gigantic bag full of the best make up brands from skin care to foundation to lipstick. What’s even better is they show you how to apply everything.
  • YOU GET TO MEET SOMEONE FAMOUS- I didn’t take advantage of this but you can meet whoever you want (if you’re young enough) or make a wish come true.
  • TOO MUCH ATTENTION SYNDROME- I received so many flowers/ presents and cards like 100’s! It was amazing every time the door bell rang, there they were again, flowers just for me!
  • SPEND TIME WITH YOUR LOVED ONES- Well, I was home bound and I usually live in London. My parents and partner live in Leicester so after years I got to see them everyday and it felt GOOOOOD! My friends were always down mine and I could look forward to seeing different friends come and see me every weekend. My best friends even made me this surprise box where they filled it with lots and lots of treats so when I had a bad day I could open one treat. It was the BEST idea!
  • PEOPLE WILL GIVE UP THEIR SUN BED FOR YOU- When you remove your head gear and people see you’re bald you wouldn’t believe the attention you get. I had a woman giving up her sun bed for me as I couldn’t go in the pool with my PIC line; the beautician gave me an extra long pedicure and the girls at MAC spent 3 hours on me and gave me loads of free samples!
  • EVERYONE REALISES HOW SHORT LIFE REALLY IS- After this, my mum decided to take up aqua aerobics, yoga and walking as well as go part time at work (I’ve been trying to convince her for ages) and my dad goes to the gym everyday and loves it. Also my friend decided to quit his job and move to Hong Kong which is what he has always wanted to do (not too sure if that one is related to my Cancer diagnosis but we’ll just pop it in there)!
Throughout everything you go through in life there’s always an upside. There’s always a silver lining you just have to find it.
Yours truly,
S.Dasani

How to rock your head during Chemo Therapy- THE HEAD GEAR

I thought I’d be the lucky few that wouldn’t lose my hair during Chemo Therapy. After all, I knew I had an EGGHEAD (can that ever be seen as a compliment?) So I tried the cool cap and it WORKED, for the first 2 Chemos until my hair started falling out EVERYWHERE. At this point I went through the phase “hair is so overrated anyway.” My hair had turned into dreadlocks from the way I slept and it was all knotted. That day I decided to order a hot tub for my back garden (to compensate for what I was about to do) and SHAVE MY HAIR OFF. I cried for 2 minutes. Looked in the mirror and felt LIBERATED (yes, my feminist side creeped out and I thought I don’t need hair to define me as a WOMAN)! Yeaaaah I can rock this look! I’d always had really long hair I mean up to my waist, long.
So, here are my reviews of how to rock your head during chemo therapy and look cool at the same time (or in my case, try to anyway).
Mind the next selfie... big eyes coming through! Still had my eyebrows at this point and lashes... I was a lucky girl!

Mind the next selfie… big eyes coming through! Still had my eyebrows at this point and lashes… I was a lucky girl!

Sunglasses selfie and big earrings to compensate lack of hair...And who can tell I've been through Chemo ha!

Sunglasses selfie and big earrings to compensate for the lack of hair…And who can tell I’ve been through Chemo ha!

MY REVIEWS (I gradually had no hair left and was completely bald):
TURBANS:
Cost- Average price around £8 
Buy from- www.Asos.comwww.selfidges.com and small local African/ Caribbean shops too. 
 I’d always get asked by other Chemo therapy patients where I’d got my Turban thingy bobs from (picture shown me wearing them). It’s like a satin material and right now they’re in fashion.
I would say the TURBANS are very comfortable and easy to put on you literally just slip them on and you can wear them day and night (it gets a bit nippy up there, on your bald head, sometimes).  I had two, in navy and in brown (they come in one size as far as I know) and I literally wore them everyday. I bought mine from Selfridges (bit of a rip off) they cost me £10 each, but then I found a local African/ Caribbean shop and they were £2 each!
SCARVES:
Cost- Varied depending on style, print and material but between £5- £40
Buy from- all high street shops, here’s a few: www.newlook.com (reasonable price), www.monsoon.co.uk (if you want to treat yourself a little) and specific websites for Cancer patients:
I had my friends try out the SCARVES on me but I looked hideous, we had a little laugh and decided to put that option to rest. However, some women can really pull it off, putting them on is just practice so I searched the web and found this handy page for styles and a video tutorial for each one:
WIGS:
Cost- Varied depending on your budget and whether you want real or synthetic hair.  I would say the average cost is around £80 for a synthetic one. Of course, this will go up if the hair is real. 
Buy from- your local Hospital Cancer unit, 
http://www.americandreamextensions.com/wigs-25-c.asp and check your local, big salons as some have wig/ hair rooms (my salon called George’s does and it’s brilliant).
Generally, the more you spend the more comfortable they are.  I bought 3, 2 cheap ones @ £25 and another one from the above site.
That one was for £120 or so (real hair), I wore it ONCE.
TIP : I found that wigs without a fringe and/ or a parting looked quite unreal and “wiggyfied.” Either tying my hair up  or putting a felt hat or even a turban on top of my wig made it look more natural!
It’s all about playing around with it and having fun. My first fake hair wig cost me £25 from a local African/ Caribbean shop my best friend and I spent 2 hours messing around in that shop with every possible style/ colour/ length. If you’ve always wondered what you’d look like with shorter hair or longer hair or curly hair or blonde hair now is the time to try, have a bit of fun and “let your hair down” (ha, yes pun intended).
I’ve always had long hair and now that I’ve cut it… well, the saying “ blondes bobs have more fun” springs to mind!

 

Yours truly,
S.Dasani
 I found that tying it up made it look more natural!

I found that tying it up made it look more natural!

Solange always so cool!

Solange in her head wrap always so cool!

Kourtney Kardashian wearing her lovely Turquoise Turban.

Kourtney Kardashian wearing her lovely Turquoise Turban.

Hey! We're on the same style level as Sex and the City!

Hey! We’re on the same style level as Sex and the City!

Know your body- How to check yourself

When I was first diagnosed a lot of people asked me how I’d found my 3.4cm lump.

When I found it I was sat in the loo and did a random breast check. Looking back now I don’t even know why I did it, I don’t do it very often but sometimes I check to see everything feels ok.

That’s when I found my small lump that felt like a chickpea. It was hard and round, in between my underarm and my right breast. At the time I didn’t frantically Google away as I knew everything on there would lead to CANCER. I seriously thought it would be nothing serious and besides I had no history of Breast Cancer in my family nor Cancer for that matter and I was 25 years old. I decided to get it checked out anyway, as you should with any lumps or bumps. A week later I was sat at the GP clinic questioning whether I was making a big deal about something so little. Turns out I made the right decision to get it checked out.

Speaking to so many of my friends and family about my discovery and diagnosis I began to realise that not many people actually do check their bodies regularly or if they do, they simply ignore the signs. As with anything caught early your chances of survival are a lot greater, which is why I decided to do this blog post to give information on how to check your breasts.
A step-by-step guide to checking your breasts (women should do this around once a month; I’ve used the breastcancer.org website for a more specific description on the way to do it):
1) Begin by looking at your breasts in the mirror with your hands on your hips and shoulders straight. Look out for the following when looking at your breasts:
  • Dimpling, puckering, or bulging of the skin.
  • A nipple that has changed position or an inverted nipple (pushed inward instead of sticking out).
  • Redness, soreness, rash, or swelling.
  • Look for any signs of fluid coming out of one or both nipples (this could be a watery, milky, or yellow fluid or blood).
2) Next to look for lumps, either lie down or sit and feel your breasts, using your right hand to feel your left breast and then your left hand to feel your right breast. Use a firm, smooth touch with the first few fingers, keeping the fingers flat and together. Use a circular motion, about the size of a one pound coin.
3) Cover the entire breast from top to bottom, side to side — from your collarbone to the top of your abdomen, and from your armpit to your cleavage.
4)Be sure to feel all the tissue from the front to the back of your breasts: for the skin and tissue just beneath, use light pressure; use medium pressure for tissue in the middle of your breasts; use firm pressure for the deep tissue in the back. When you’ve reached the deep tissue, you should be able to feel down to your ribcage.
5) For anything that looks or feels abnormal, don’t wait around get it checked out by your GP.
For a more detailed description on how to check your body you can go on the following sites:
Men are less likely to develop Breast Cancer however, here’s a link to  symptoms they may see:
Testicular Cancer is more common in men than Breast Cancer which is why men should also KNOW THEIR BODY and do regular checks.
I found the Cancer Research page pretty useful in demonstrating symptoms and checks for Testicular Cancer:
Hope you found this blog post useful, it would be great if we could spread the word about checking your body and raising awareness and even if one person found this useful then I say “that’s a good job done!” and I’m a happy bunny!
Yours truly, 
S.Dasani

My story

Hello Blogging world and to all the fabulous people who asked me to write. So, here I am. I thought I’d start off by telling the world WHO THE HECK I AM and why I decided to write.

I am an absolute FOOD LOVER. I love to travel to all the places you do not and find them all by myself. I love to be in love. I’m 26 years old (my birthday was a few days ago) and last but not least I’VE JUST had BEATEN CANCER. That’s right, I am an OPTIMISTIC LIFE LOVER (with a strong hint of feminism banged inside of me screaming and itching to come out, for those who know I went to SOAS, y’all will understand). I’m British by the way. And Indian…(cue song:) I’m sexy and I know it  (just kidding).

Everyone kept telling me to blog. ALL my MILLIONS OF FANS. NOT. I wish. Well, people did tell me to write but I don’t have fans… I don’t think. That would be dead cool if I did and maybe in my imagination I do. Anyway, I am here for a few reasons, I will list below:

– Share my journey on Cancer (no, not to depress you but to share advise on things I found useful in case you or a loved one is going through the same traumatic experience as I did).

– To write about my awesome 2nd life; yes, most of you only have one, but I am lucky enough to be given a second chance.

– To show off my creative skills.

– Who knows to meet some crazy, cool people who will want me to write for them forever and I become this crazy, cool writer who gets paid absolute SH** loads? Ah, my imagination always gets carried away.

HERE’S THE DEAL 

I write about my experiences, share stories, share photos, maybe a couple of videos. Basically I talk to myself. If you want to get in touch you can do (I wouldn’t know at this point how you would do that but this is all a learning curve).

Yours Truly, 

S.Dasani